I haven't posted or sent out my normal end-of-year email because some serious life stuff has gone down; but I wanted to quickly say that in 2019, the theme I'm trying to embrace is "abundance".
Since I can remember, my life has felt like a constant grind, constant building, and a fear of losing the traction my family and I have worked hard to grab on to in a country that sends daily messages that it doesn't want people like us. This has led to a very difficult ability to relax, be in the moment, not constantly push myself, and to forgive myself for moments when I don't feel I 100% have it together, or feel perfectly strong and capable. I have curated a practice of mindfulness, gratitude, and positivity; but, it is still a real effort to wield in the face of the at times indomitable mindset of scarcity much of US markets - and parts of us biologically - are designed to support.
This year, I want to work harder to adopt a mindset of abundance; that there is enough to go around for us all; that I have the power to illicit this from within, even in times of despair, and to push myself more to give and support others whenever possible.
It turns out that a lot of life is feeling like we're starting over - and I'm trying to embrace that this is ok; that even when one part of our life starts over, the value of all that has existed before and around this fading reality is still within us. We can still call upon it and thrive.
Repost below from Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez 's IG that resonated and inspired this.
I hope that your 2019 is starting off in a spirit of abundance, possibility, and that you're looking forward to it as much as I am. Happy New Year. xox
"My mamá was born + raised in Puerto Rico. She practically raised her siblings in poverty while her own mother worked nonstop to provide food and shelter. She met my father, a Bronx boy visiting isla family, at a young age. They married + moved to NYC - she didn’t even speak English. My parents started from scratch: new languages, new life, new everything. Then came me, and they moved to start over again so I could have an education. Mami mopped floors, drove school buses, + answered phones. She did whatever she needed to do, for me. When my father died, she was left a single mother of 2, and again she had to start over. After he passed we almost lost our home, so we sold it and started over. & over. & over.
It wasn’t long ago that we felt our lives were over; that there were only so many do-overs until it was just too late, or too much to take, or we were too spiritually spent.
I was scrubbing tables + scooping candle wax after restaurant shifts & falling asleep on the subway ride home. I once got pickpocketed, & everything I earned that day was stolen. That day I locked myself in a room and cried deep: I had nothing left to give, or to be. And that’s when I started over. I honestly thought as a 28 year old waitress I was too late; that the train of my fulfilled potential had left the station.
This week I was sworn in as the youngest woman in American history to serve in the United States Congress. I hope that record is broken again soon. As I raised my hand for the oath, my mother held the holy book & looked into @SpeakerPelosi’s eyes. Afterwards, the Speaker said to her “you must be so proud,” and my mother began to cry.
It was not long ago that our family’s hope was so dim it was barely an ember. Darkness taught me transformation cannot solely be an individual pursuit, but also a community trust. We must lean on others to strive on our own.
Thank you all. Whether it was late nights, hard days, pocket change, emotional investment, hard & soft skills, door knocking in the heat or petitioning in the bitter cold - we did this together."